This week I got a great email newsletter from Katherine Center, author of some really good novels that I highly recommend, including Happiness for Beginners and The Lost Husband (coming out as a movie and streaming online starting April 10). Her newsletter is called “Three Good Things” and in this issue she had double that, plus a link to an ongoing “Good Things for Quarantine” list on her website (check it out here). The email was packed with book, TV show, and podcast recommendations, as well as a practice she is following that I wanted to share with you. The practice is to notice three good things in your day, every day. Here is what she says:

“This name of this newsletter was inspired by something the character Helen in my novel Happiness for Beginners learns to do during the story: To notice three good things that happen every day. She learns to do it from another character, Windy, who explains that the things we notice are the things we hold on to. And the things we hold on to become the story of our lives.

“At the very beginning of the pandemic, I was thinking I might keep a journal and write about something joyful that happened that day—even something small, just to keep a daily record that, even in the darkest times, there are still flickers of joy. But I've found I'm too stressed and distracted to do that. So I've downsized considerably: I'm trying to keep a list of Three Good Things that I notice every day—just like Helen does in the book. I try to either write them down or take photos.

“These don't have to be big things. They will very likely be little things. A caterpillar on the milkweed. The way the wood floor feels under my bare feet. The smell of laundry fresh out of the dryer. The taste of onions sautéed in butter. The tapping of rain on the tin roof of our porch . . .

“Just three little things every day. I promise: They add up.”

Back in January, I had rededicated myself to doing a gratitude practice where each night, I would write down three things I was grateful for that day. I’ve been keeping it up even though there have been times recently that I’ve had trouble feeling thankful for anything. But even on those days I realize that there’s always something—even if it’s just that I’m thankful the day is over and it’s bedtime! And once I write one thing down, I’m able to come up with something else. I might remember something good that happened, or if that fails I can always be grateful for basics like a safe place to be, hot running water, food to eat, etc. I find it helpful to end each day thinking of something positive like this.

I hope that you are able to find at least three good things in your day today, and that you are doing OK! Sending you lots of love.

“It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”

— David Steindl-Rast

In my last post, I talked about the idea of creating resolutions in honor of my birthday, to “keep me on the path of increased growth and happiness; guidelines to give me more direction as I go about my daily life.” I’ve come up with the first one:

Be grateful.

So simple, yet something I have trouble remembering to do. I really want to focus on it, though, as it’s a direct route to happiness. Multiple scientific studies back this up. According to an article in Psychology Today, gratitude

· Opens the door to more relationships

· Improves physical health

· Improves psychological health

· Enhances empathy

· Helps you sleep better

· Improves self-esteem

Increases mental strength

Yes, please!

An article on happierhuman.com that references the results of 40 studies on gratitude says, “A five-minute a day gratitude journal can increase your long-term well-being by more than 10 percent. That’s the same impact as doubling your income! … According to gratitude researcher Robert Emmons, gratitude is just happiness that we recognize after-the-fact to have been caused by the kindness of others. Gratitude doesn’t just make us happier, it is happiness in and of itself!”

When I’m counting my blessings, I feel so much better about everything. I’m more satisfied with my life, less critical and judgmental, and more relaxed. Plus, as I said in a previous post, Zoom in on the Good, when I consciously seek things to appreciate I seem to encounter them more and more.

I enjoy paying attention to stuff I often take for granted. For example, every time I go with one of my parents to a doctor’s appointment or surgery, I’m reminded what a blessing good health is. I’m also constantly grateful for my son and husband.

But it’s easy to be grateful for the wonderful parts of your life. What’s difficult is to find silver linings in the tough times. I think, though, that that sort of “attitude of gratitude” might be the most powerful. If we can find some tiny thing to be grateful for in the midst of difficulty, it can spur optimism and hope, and make the tough time more bearable.

I’ve been reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s book May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness. In it, she talks a lot about the power of gratitude. The affirmation for Day 11 is “I am grateful for this moment.” She recommends you repeat it to yourself throughout the day, and I’ve continued to use it. Not only does it help me appreciate ordinary pleasant moments that I might have missed, it also helps me reframe challenging moments. I try to see how I could be grateful for that moment. What could it teach me?

Or, failing that, I use the old “at least I’m not…” trick. No matter what’s happening, it could always be worse, so voila: instant gratitude. Plus, when I think to myself, “Could be worse…” I remember a scene from one of my favorite movies, “Young Frankenstein,” when Igor says, “Could be worse; could be raining” and it immediately begins to pour. Makes me laugh every time, and that always helps.

I’m also trying a written gratitude practice. In my evening journal, instead of recounting everything that happened (which seemed to result in complaining more often than not) I now focus on the positive. Ending the day by giving thanks feels a lot better than rehashing what went wrong.

Painter and creativity coach Tracy Verdugo does her gratitude practice in the morning. When I interviewed her for my book on morning rituals, she said, “I used to wake up and think about work right away, which was stressful. Now I’ve created this habit of being thankful first thing instead, and it’s a much better way to start my day.”

Do you have a gratitude practice? I’d love to hear about it!