Plan for Joy

Happy New Year! After the rush of the holidays and then some (too short!) recovery time, I’m finally starting to think about the year ahead. I don’t know about you, but to me it seems like time has sped up and the year is already rushing by. Filling your calendar with to-dos, reminders, and appointments can feel overwhelming and disheartening, especially when the weather is gloomy outside.

For a moodboost, consider also planning for joy. This is an idea I first heard about from Ingrid Fetell Lee, author of Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness (which I’ve talked about here before). I read an article by her in which she discusses her annual planning process and says she’s always enjoyed setting goals, but realized she was forgetting something important: to plan for joy.

Lee explains, “Every year we sit down and plan how we’re going to be better people, more rigorous and diligent and considerate people. We write out the achievements we aspire to: the weight loss or the muscle strength, the pages written or published, the milestone markers we hope to see in the sideview mirror as we whizz past. In the process, we forget to plan for joy.

“It’s not that we shouldn’t plan for our big dreams and goals. These are the seeds of future joy, and well worth cultivating. But as we train our sights on these distant hopes, the small joys can easily get lost in the shuffle. …

“I think we forget to plan for joy because we think of joy as something that just happens, not as something that we make happen. In our minds, joy is spontaneous and effortless. Yet if we think about it, many of our most joyful moments — the picnic in the park or the family vacation, the birthday party or the nature hike — exist only because someone thought to plan for them.”

When I read this, I realized that even though I make a practice of being a “joy detective,” I usually think of it as looking for joyful moments, rather than actively planning for them. On her website, Lee offers a free “Joylist Planner” PDF that you can download. It has categories to help you come up with different types of experiences to plan, like people to see, occasions to celebrate, and field trips/local adventures. Here’s the link if you want to give it a try!

This reminds me of another uplifting idea from life coach Katherine North. She suggests that we plan multiple treats for ourselves in advance, scheduled throughout the year—anything from small delights like pedicures or massages to larger indulgences like vacations.

If we go ahead and put them in the calendar now, not only will we ensure that we’ll actually do them, but it also gives us things to look forward to. Research shows that anticipating something joyful can be almost as joy-inducing as the experience itself! (I think this is one of the reasons I enjoy planning trips so much.)

I love this idea, and am brainstorming some fun treats to schedule for myself. But we don’t have to wait for a vacation or other future event; we can also make time for joy every day.  Indulging in what we find pleasurable on a regular basis is a wonderful way to enhance our enjoyment of life.  We can scatter moments of joy throughout the day by indulging in simple pleasures, such as savoring a good piece of chocolate or connecting with an old friend.

In Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, Sarah Ban Breathnach calls these “Joyful Simplicities.” She says: “Joyful simplicities nourish body and soul by engaging our senses. They teach us how to live in the present moment. Life comes together when we seek out the Sublime in the ordinary. …There’s a lot of drudgery to most of our days … To keep our daily round from being all drudgery, we’ve got to savor the art of the small: discovering diminutive delights that bring us peace and pleasure.”

What’s your favorite treat? What little activities do you love? What makes you happy? You can create a “bliss list” of your favorites and then make a point of fitting in as many as possible each week. My bliss list includes sitting in the sun, listening to jazz, and reading.

You can also create “seasonal joy lists”—lists of activities you love to do each season that either can only be done then, or that heighten your enjoyment of the season (like drinking hot chocolate or sitting by the fire in the winter, or eating watermelon in the summer).

I encourage you to try one (or all!) of these ideas and start scattering moments of joy, both small and large, throughout your life! Let me know how it goes!

Scattering Moments of Joy

Happy New Year! After the rush of the holidays and then some recovery time, I’ve been working my way through my email inbox. I just read an end-of-the-year post by Ingrid Fetell Lee, author of Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness (which I’ve talked about here before), in which she discusses her annual planning process. She says she’s always enjoyed setting goals, but she realized she was forgetting something important: to plan for joy.

Lee explains, “Every year we sit down and plan how we’re going to be better people, more rigorous and diligent and considerate people. We write out the achievements we aspire to: the weight loss or the muscle strength, the pages written or published, the milestone markers we hope to see in the sideview mirror as we whizz past. In the process, we forget to plan for joy.

“It’s not that we shouldn’t plan for our big dreams and goals. These are the seeds of future joy, and well worth cultivating. But as we train our sights on these distant hopes, the small joys can easily get lost in the shuffle. …

“I think we forget to plan for joy because we think of joy as something that just happens, not as something that we make happen. In our minds, joy is spontaneous and effortless. Yet if we think about it, many of our most joyful moments — the picnic in the park or the family vacation, the birthday party or the nature hike — exist only because someone thought to plan for them.”

Yes! I realized that even though I make a practice of being a “joy detective,” I usually think of it as looking for joyful moments, rather than actively planning for them. In the post, Lee offers a free “Joylist Planner” PDF that you can download. It has categories to help you come up with different types of experiences to plan, like people to see, occasions to celebrate, and field trips/local adventures. I printed one out and am going to try planning for more joy this year. Here’s the link if you want to give it a try as well!

This reminds me of an idea in another email I recently got, from life coach Katherine North. She suggests that we plan multiple treats for ourselves in advance, scheduled throughout the year—anything from small delights like pedicures or massages to larger indulgences like vacations.

If we go ahead and put them in the calendar now, not only will we ensure that we’ll actually do them, but it also gives us things to look forward to. Research shows that anticipating something joyful can be almost as joy-inducing as the experience itself! (I think this is one of the reasons I enjoy planning trips so much.)

I love this idea, and am brainstorming some fun treats to schedule for myself. But we don’t have to wait for a vacation or other future event; we can also make time for joy every day.  Indulging in what we find pleasurable on a regular basis is a wonderful way to enhance our enjoyment of life.  We can scatter moments of joy throughout the day by indulging in simple pleasures, such as savoring a good piece of chocolate or connecting with an old friend.

In Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, Sarah Ban Breathnach calls these “Joyful Simplicities.” She says: “Joyful simplicities nourish body and soul by engaging our senses. They teach us how to live in the present moment. Life comes together when we seek out the Sublime in the ordinary. …There’s a lot of drudgery to most of our days … To keep our daily round from being all drudgery, we’ve got to savor the art of the small: discovering diminutive delights that bring us peace and pleasure.”

What’s your favorite treat? What little activities do you love? What makes you happy? You can create a “bliss list” of your favorites and then make a point of fitting in as many as possible each week. My bliss list includes sitting in the sun, listening to jazz, and reading.

You can also create “seasonal joy lists”—lists of activities you love to do each season that either can only be done then, or that heighten your enjoyment of the season (like drinking hot chocolate or sitting by the fire in the winter, or eating watermelon in the summer).

I encourage you to try one (or all!) of these ideas and start scattering moments of joy, both small and large, throughout your life! Let me know how it goes!

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The Aesthetics of Joy

I recently finished reading Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee—wow! I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it.

Lee delves into the science behind why certain things bring us joy (in a very easy-to-follow way). She identifies ten “aesthetics of joy” that “reveal a distinct connection between the feeling of joy and the tangible qualities of the world around us:

Energy: vibrant color and light

Abundance: lushness, multiplicity, and variety

Freedom: nature, wildness, and open space

Harmony: balance, symmetry, and flow

Play: circles, spheres, and bubbly forms

Surprise: contrast and whimsy

Transcendence: elevation and lightness

Magic: invisible forces and illusions

Celebration: synchrony, sparkle, and bursting shapes

Renewal: blossoming, expansion, and curves”

It’s truly fascinating to learn why things like bright colors, fireworks, bubbles, and confetti can make us happy—and how we can use this information to find more joy in our daily lives. As she says, “You have a whole world of joy right at your fingertips. There’s no method you need to learn, no discipline you need to impose on yourself. The only requirement is what you already have: an openness to discovering the joy that surrounds you.”

After reading the book I checked out her blog The Aesthetics of Joy, which will give you an instant happiness boost from all the beautiful visuals, not to mention the interesting info. I signed up for her email “joyletters,” the most recent of which talks about cultivating a sense of renewal. In it she has some great ideas that I wanted to share with you.

She says, “We are a novelty-obsessed culture, but to me renewal is much more interesting. It doesn't venerate youth and perfection, but embraces the fullness of the experiences we've already lived. It doesn't try to pretend that we can fight the arc of time, but takes advantage of the eddies and whorls in its flow. We don't have to be perfect to be renewed. We just have to begin.

If you're looking to cultivate a greater sense of renewal in your life, here are some ways to start.

Fix something that's been broken a long time. Broken things create a stagnant energy. They are effectively stuck in time. Getting something fixed not only removes the nagging item from your to do list, but also makes a home feel fresh and new again.

Make space. It's hard to feel a sense of renewal when we're weighed down by old obligations and ideas. Clear out your desk, closet, or to be read pile. Make space in your inbox and your calendar. Say no to commitments that are getting in the way of your growth. Allow that space to be empty so something you love can fill it.

Give yourself a makeover. Whenever I'm feeling rundown or lackluster, I paint my nails. It might sound silly, but when my appearance is shabby, it's usually a sign that I've been caring for my mind (or not caring for it) in the same way. A small, external sign of transformation reminds me that change is possible.

Buy yourself flowers. Flowers are one of the most powerful reminders of renewal. One theory holds that we love flowers because flowers indicate the places where fruit would soon be. Those of our ancestors who were attentive to flowers were more likely to notice their location and be able to reach the fruits before they were eaten by other hungry animals.

Move things around. We tend to treat our homes as fixed, but many objects within them are easily moved. Try switching a few pieces of art around, or change the arrangement of your furniture. Seeing the same object from a new perspective is an easy way to make it feel new again.

Reconnect with the Earth's clock. Human time, defined by feeds and messages and new innovations, seems to be constantly accelerating. But the Earth's clock moves in age-old rhythms that far pre-date us. Spending time in nature recalibrates our sense of time and tunes us into the subtle gradients of change that often fade into the background.

Make a seasonal joy list. Too often, a new season comes and goes in a blip, before I get to do any of the things I'm most excited about. But these limited-time-only joys can help us cultivate this sense of renewal. To fight this, make a "joy list" of things you want to this season, whether it's carve a pumpkin, catch a movie on its opening weekend, or do some momijigari (Japanese for leaf-peeping!).

 Plan something to look forward to. Research shows that anticipating something joyful can be almost as joy-inducing as the experience itself. Putting something on your calendar to look forward replicates the joy you find in looking forward to a favorite season or holiday, but is something you can do at any time.

 Forgive someone (or yourself). Letting go of old grievances is a powerful way to make space for renewal. A relationship in the wake of hurt can feel tentative and uncertain, but it also is a space of renewed understanding. And the same is true for your relationship with yourself. If there's something you've been holding onto, imagine what it might be like to forgive yourself and move on.”

I actually made my first seasonal joy list last May—I realized that summer goes by quickly, and I often don’t make time to do things that I love. It definitely helped me enjoy the season more. If it will ever get cool and start feeling like fall here, I will make a fall list as well!

I hope you found some good ideas in this post. Let me know if you try any of them, or if you read (or already have read) Joyful, and what you think!

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