Seeking Small Comforts

What a year, y’all. And it’s not over yet! I’ve been quiet here for a while, because I just haven’t had the brain capacity to write anything coherent. But I had a thought today, and I wanted to share it in case you find it helpful.

I haven’t had a lot of success with seeking joy in the past few months. I don’t know about you, but most days take so much energy just to get through, that joy feels like a bridge too far! Instead, I’ve found it much easier to look for small comforts—something really simple like slowly sipping a cup of tea, escaping into a good book, or going outside to sit in the sunshine. These actions take minimal time and effort, but they make a really big difference in how I feel. Here’s a link to an article I wrote in February about quick and easy ways to boost your mood, if you’d like some more ideas.

I hope that all is as well as it can be in your world. I would love to hear your favorite small comforts, if you want to share!

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R + R: Reading Recommendations for Rest + Recuperation (and Revitalization)

I’ve always turned to reading for help, whether it’s to learn about something new, better understand myself, change a habit, feel uplifted, or take a break and enter a magical new world.

I’m currently reading The Wisdom of Not Knowing: Discovering a Life of Wonder by Embracing Uncertainty by Estelle Frankel to help me adjust to this time of not knowing what will happen next. It occurred to me that this book, along with some others I’ve read, might be helpful to you as well during these stressful days.  So I thought I’d compile a list of recommendations, both nonfiction and fiction.

First, some pertinent/uplifting nonfiction titles:

Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom by Rick Hanson, PhD

Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee

Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management by Kate Northrup

Eat Pray Love and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Wake Up to the Joy of You: 52 Meditations and Practices for a Calmer, Happier Life by Agapi Stassinopoulos

The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams

You can find many more nonfiction recommendations in two of my previous blog posts, Lighthouses: Books That Have Lit the Way for Me (Part 1) and (Part 2).

Here are some wonderful, imaginative fiction reads to help you escape the real world and come back refreshed:

The Night Circus and The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

Chance Developments and My Italian Bulldozer by Alexander McCall Smith (or any of his series books: The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, Isabel Dalhousie, or 44 Scotland Street)

The President’s Hat (or any other) by Antoine Laurain

The Story of Arthur Truluv, Night of Miracles, and The Confession Club (a trilogy) by Elizabeth Berg

The Lido by Libby Page

The Bar Harbor Retirement Home for Famous Writers by Terri-Lynne DeFino

The Course of Love by Alain de Botton

Diana, Herself by Martha Beck

Unfurl by Meghan Genge  

And while these may be “children’s books,” I return to them again and again for inspiration and comfort: A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle and The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.

If any of these books appeal to you and you want to buy a hard copy (as opposed to an ebook), I encourage you to order from your local independent bookstore to support them in this tough time. Many are offering free delivery or shipping in an effort to keep sales up. If your area doesn’t have an independent bookstore, two great ones offering free shipping (or free delivery if you live there) are Garden District Book Shop in New Orleans and Judy Blume’s Books & Books in Key West.

(Where I wish I were able to go read right now!!)

(Where I wish I were able to go read right now!!)

Lighthouses: Books That Have Lit the Way for Me (Part 2)

Here is Part 2 of the list of books I’ve read during my search for joy that have guided me along my path. (See Part 1 here.)

The Artist’s Way and The Vein of Gold, Julia Cameron: incredible resources for anyone who wants more creativity and authenticity in their lives, whether you’re an “artist” or not. Her tone is calming and supportive, and her tools and exercises really work.

In The Artist’s Way she introduces morning pages, where you write longhand, stream of consciousness, for three pages first thing each morning. This clears the “sludge” out of the mind and can also help you identify fears and issues that are holding you back. Another tool is the artist date, where you take yourself somewhere creatively inspiring each week.

In addition, she outlines a 12-week program designed to help you break through any creative blocks and rediscover your true self and what you want to do. It’s amazing. Many of the women I interviewed for my book on morning rituals mentioned this book and how transformative it had been for them.  

The Vein of Gold takes you further along the” journey to the heart of creativity” and provides new exercises that are designed to “engage the reader in inner play.”

How We Choose to Be Happy, Rick Foster and Greg Hicks: they interviewed extremely happy people and found that often they were happy not because of their circumstances, but in spite of them. They CHOSE to be happy and accomplished this by setting that intention and looking for the positive in whatever happened to them. This shows that it’s not the external things that make us happy, but how we feel inside and how we perceive our lives. That’s why being a millionaire doesn’t automatically make someone happy. The authors were able to identify nine choices that all of the people had made that accounted for their happiness, and they discuss those. It’s a fascinating read.

 A Short Guide to a Happy Life and Being Perfect, Anna Quindlen: these deceptively small books pack a punch! Her writing is elegant and straightforward, and a pure joy to read. A Short Guide is an eloquent reminder to cherish each moment and appreciate the richness of our everyday lives.

Being Perfect rocked my world when I first read it. It’s full of brilliant insights about “the perfection trap,” which I often find myself caught in. She encourages us to be ourselves rather than constantly strive to live up to others’ expectations. These quotes really hit home for me: “Eventually, being perfect became like carrying a backpack filled with bricks every single day” and “What is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Yes!

How to Live a Good Life, Jonathan Fields: this is a very practical and easy-to-follow book that gives concrete recommendations on how to create a more fulfilling, engaged, happier life. He breaks life up into three “Good Life Buckets”: vitality (the state of your mind and body), connection (relationships), and contribution (how you contribute to the world). He says, “The fuller your buckets, the better your life. When all simultaneously bubble over, life soars. That’s what we’re aiming for. But the flip side is also true. If any single bucket runs dry, you feel pain. If two go empty, a world of hurt awaits. If all three bottom out, you don’t have a life. Figuratively and, in short order, literally.”

He gives a “60-second snapshot” to determine the levels in each of your buckets, and then the following chapters describe 10 ways to fill each bucket. Fields also runs The Good Life Project, which offers courses, podcasts, and even a summer camp for adults every year in upstate New York.

The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin: this was probably the first book I read that was specifically on looking for ways to be happier. It is also a very practical and easy-to-follow book, about how the author spent a year “test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier” after realizing that she was wasting her life in a sort of malaise. She had reasons to be happy, but often didn’t feel happy, so she decided to dedicate a year to trying out different ways to boost her happiness. Rubin is an excellent, engaging writer and it’s a fun read with lots of interesting ideas to try.

The Miracle of Mindfulness and Peace Is Every Step, Thich Nhat Hanh: simply reading his books makes me feel peaceful. His style is so restful—it’s like meditating while reading. And his concepts are simple yet incredibly powerful. If you find meditating or mindfulness difficult, like I do, these books will be very helpful.

I hope that one or more of these books makes a difference for you, as they have for me. Stay tuned for Part 3!

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