6 Short & Sweet Ideas for a Summer Morning Refresh

Starting your day mindfully improves the rest of the day. Morning rituals are wonderfully beneficial, but when you’re busy, the thought of trying to squeeze something else into your day can be overwhelming. The good news is that your ritual doesn’t have to be complex or time-consuming to be effective. Here are some short and sweet practices that you can easily manage.

 1.      Ease into the day.

Instead of jumping out of bed, take a moment to center yourself. After you wake up, lie still and take three deep breaths. Place one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart. Breathe in slowly through your nose until you reach maximum capacity, feeling your belly rise. Then slowly release the breath through your mouth, feeling your belly fall. Imagine that you are inhaling peace and exhaling any tension you may have. Repeat two more times. Then stretch your arms and legs, lengthening your body as much as you can. As you get out of bed, pause to feel your feet on the floor. Then get up and on with your day, refreshed and ready!

2.      Replace phone time with something positive.

Instead of checking your phone first thing, which can negatively affect your focus and your mood, do something uplifting for five minutes. Write in a journal, sit in silence, read a few pages of an inspiring book—whatever makes you feel happier.

3.      Shower mindfully.

This practice doesn’t take any extra time at all, so it’s especially great for those super-busy days. Feel the water hitting your head and streaming downward. Imagine that it is washing all negative energy out of you and down the drain. Then imagine the fresh water replenishing you with positive energy for the day.

4.      Get outside.

Sip your morning coffee or tea outdoors for an instant reset, courtesy of nature. Getting sunlight first thing makes you more alert and spurs production of the mood-booster serotonin; it also helps regulate your sleep cycles. Bonus points if you can put your bare feet on the earth for some quick grounding.

5.      Set an intention/visualize/schedule some self-care.

Take a few minutes to sit quietly and think about the day ahead. Check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. What does your day hold? Is there something important you want to accomplish? Set the intention that you will handle it easily. Visualize it going well. Are you facing a busy day? Set the intention to navigate it with serenity and grace. Visualize a smooth path ahead of you. Feel free to ask for help from whatever higher power you believe in, or simply your own inner self.

You can also use this time to brainstorm ways make your day easier or to treat yourself (having a reward to look forward to can brighten up even the toughest days). For example, is there something you can take off your list or ask someone else to do? Is there a break in the day where you can relax and enjoy a cup of tea or a quiet moment outside? Ask yourself what would make you happy, and see if you can make it happen.

6.      Focus on gratitude.

While you’re getting ready, eating breakfast, or commuting to work, think about what you’re thankful for. Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been shown to have enormous benefits: it enhances physical health, psychological health, mental strength, and self-esteem. Paying attention to what’s good in your life is a wonderful way to start each day with a positive mindset. And the more you appreciate what’s around you, the more you notice things to appreciate.

Beginning your day with one of these simple morning rituals will help center and calm you, empowering you to be your best self. You can also practice them at other times—during lunchtime, for an afternoon break, or in the evening to transition between work and home.

And you can always come back to your breathing to for a mini-break. Close your eyes if possible and just focus on feeling the breath as it enters and exits your nose. Breathe as deeply and slowly as possible. If you’re feeling anxious, try kaki pranayama, or “bird’s beak,” breath: inhale through your nose. Then purse your lips into an O, as if you were drinking from a straw, and exhale slowly. This helps bring about the relaxation response. Repeat until you feel calmer.

A morning ritual refreshes and restores you every day. Even tiny actions can have an enormous positive impact. Try one of the practices above for a week and see how much better you feel!

Self-Care for Stressful Times

I know the world seems filled with anxiety and fear right now; here is an article I recently wrote for Thrive Global on how we can take care of ourselves despite all the turmoil. You may also want to check out my previous posts  “The Big 7 Ways to Boost Happiness” and “17 More Mood Boosters.”

In times of stress, it’s more important than ever to take care of ourselves. If you’re feeling anxious or scared about the current coronavirus situation, it can be helpful to ramp up your self-care.  

Much of the time, we’re fearful about a situation because it’s out of our control. Taking steps to feel more in control can help us calm the fear and anxiety. For example, if you’re concerned about possibly getting sick, be proactive in supporting your health. As you know, handwashing is vital—at least 20 seconds. Get plenty of sleep, do some exercise, drink lots of water, eat fruits and vegetables, and perhaps take some immune-boosting supplements (Dr. Oz recently recommended vitamin D, vitamin C, zinc, and elderberry).

Then, do your best to reduce stress and comfort yourself. Here are some ideas:

·         Minimize your exposure to the news. Maybe instead of watching it on TV, you just check a news source you trust—and maybe you only do that once or twice a day.  Spend less time on social media.

·         Be mindful of your thoughts. If you find yourself worrying, turn your attention to something positive and uplifting instead. Think of it like switching the channel on your TV: hmmm., that thought doesn’t feel good; let’s find one that does.

·         Exercise. Go for a walk or run, or do some yoga or other exercise that you enjoy. Movement helps your body process stress hormones, and it boosts endorphins, which will make you feel better.

·         Breathe slowly and deeply. This calms your nervous system by triggering the relaxation response. An easy breathing practice to try is “box” or “square” breathing. To do it, imagine a square. You’re going to breathe around the square: inhale through your nose for four counts, pause the breath for four counts, exhale for four counts, and pause the breath for four counts. Do that at least three times.

·         Meditate. Meditation is a proven anxiety-reducer. If you find it difficult, try a guided meditation. There are some great apps that can help, like Insight Timer, Calm, and Headspace.

·         Soothe your body. Soak in a warm bath with Epsom salts to release tension. Consider getting a massage or acupuncture; not only can this help you relax, it also stimulates your immune system. 

·         Spend time outside. Studies have shown that nature calms us and makes us happier. Find a grassy or tree-filled spot and walk through it slowly or sit in silence.  Also, exposure to sunshine triggers the production of vitamin D, as well as serotonin, which boosts your mood. (The increase in serotonin happens when sunlight enters your eyes, so don’t wear sunglasses; but obviously, avoid looking directly at the sun).

·         Do what makes you feel good. Do you love to read, or paint, or dance? Are there certain kinds of music that lift your spirits? Does baking always relax you? Make a list of things that make you happy or bring you comfort, and scatter them throughout your day.

·         Journal. Journaling has been shown to be effective at managing stress. Writing down your thoughts is like clearing clutter from your room; it gets rid of all the junk and leaves behind clarity and space. And when you put worries in writing, you can more easily evaluate them and come up with coping strategies. Try doing a stream-of-consciousness brain dump every day. 

·         Laugh! Laughter reduces anxiety, boosts your immune system, and stimulates the release of endorphins. It’s so powerful, people do laughter therapy and laughter yoga! Watch a funny video online, or a TV show or movie if you have more time. Some classic comedies are “The Inlaws,” “Airplane,” “Young Frankenstein,” “His Girl Friday,” “Best in Show,” “Some Like It Hot,” “The Producers,” “Raising Arizona,” and “The Princess Bride.” TV shows that are sure to get you laughing are “I Love Lucy,” “Seinfeld,” and old episodes of Monty Python’s Flying Circus or The Carol Burnett Show. What are your favorites? Make a list one day when you’re in a good mood and keep it handy for emergency laughter infusion as needed.

·         Pet a dog or cat. Studies show that stroking, cuddling, or even gazing into the eyes of a pet leads to a rise in oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is the “love hormone” that is also released during hugs, sex, and breastfeeding. It reduces stress and anxiety levels while increasing feelings of relaxation, trust, and bonding.

·         Hug someone. Hugging increases both oxytocin and serotonin—as little as 20 seconds of hugging someone will elevate those levels enough for a significant positive impact.

Remember that, while you may not be able to control external events, you do have control over your internal world. Taking care of yourself every day will keep you calm and centered.

Show Yourself Some Love

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, which encourages us to show our love for our romantic partner. Where is the holiday that encourages us to show our love for ourselves?

Truly, this is so important that we should be reminded every day, not just one day a year. We can’t fully love others if we don’t fully love ourselves. And yet we often treat ourselves terribly. Our needs are always last on the list. “Oh, I don’t have time to _______, I have to work/take care of my children/clean the house/go to the store/cook dinner/do laundry, etc. etc.”

However, as many of us have found out, if we focus solely on taking care of others and neglect ourselves for too long, it will eventually have a negative impact. We get sick, or are constantly tired or irritable (or are sick, tired, AND irritable). Often when this happens, our instinct is to push through, because we are needed. We’re not making it up—we do have tons of obligations and people who depend on us—bosses, coworkers, children, spouses, parents, friends. But our first obligation should be to ourselves. I know it sounds radical. But it’s true.

It’s important to note that we’re worthy of love, just as we are. We don’t have to be constantly productive to prove our worth. We are each born a beautiful soul, deserving of unconditional love. When we give ourselves that love—not demanding anything in return, not trying to “be better,” just appreciating ourselves as is—it makes a huge difference in our lives.

I’ll admit, showing myself unconditional love is something I struggle with daily. I’m a perfectionist and highly self-critical, and as I’ve discussed before, I have the urge to always be doing something to “earn my keep.” But running around like a hamster on a wheel all the time doesn’t feel good. No matter how hard I work, I never cross everything off the list (gah, how I hate that fact!). I never reach that mark of “enough.”

I always feel like I come up short when I tie my value to what I’m accomplishing. If I can wrap my head around the idea that I’m inherently worthy—that I was born enough, and don’t have anything to prove—that feels SO much better. I feel open rather than constricted. Relaxed instead of clenched. Happy instead of apprehensive.

There’s a common saying: When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. The converse is absolutely true: when I’m happy, I can spread that happiness. I’m more likely to be kind and patient with those I love—and even with strangers. So, when you tend to your own happiness, you’re really doing others a service.

What if we all devoted time every day just to showing ourselves some love? Paying attention to our needs and our wants; taking a moment to sit and listen to our inner voice, which often gets drowned out in the cacophony of modern life. I’m not talking about hours each day—just as much time as you can comfortably fit into your schedule. Maybe five minutes, sitting outside while you watch the clouds float by, or fifteen minutes of meditation or yoga or reading—whatever lights you up and makes you feel whole.

Today, take a moment to show yourself some love. Do something you enjoy, or give yourself a treat that that makes you feel amazing. Book that massage! Steal away and read that book! Savor the chocolate! Do it just because—because you are a miraculous, incredible, gorgeous soul who deserves all the love in the world. XXXOOO!

Do Less

We are officially in the season of stress. But it’s not just the holiday time that seems to encourage us to go, go, go and do, do, do. Our culture has increasingly emphasized being busy and productive—“owning the day” and “leaning in”—as the best way to be.

But it’s not. It most definitely is not. We are not meant to constantly be on. We need downtime. We need daydreaming. We need to do nothing—and we need large doses of that, regularly. But there is still a lot of shame about doing nothing. I know I continue to struggle with it, even as I read all the research that backs up its value.

At Lucky Star I was talking with a woman who had recently recovered from a life-threatening illness. She said she was trying to do less because she knew it was better for her health, but she still faced outside pressure. She had been asked by a group of other moms at her child’s school to take over a huge project. They actually said, “You finished treatment, right, so now you have time?”

What?? What the actual what?? Not only do we all need to ease up on pressuring ourselves to do more, we need to ease up on each other! Thankfully she was able to tell those women no, but she still felt guilty. And that is a shame. We should be able to say no to things that will endanger our health—physical or mental—and we should be able to do that without guilt or pushback from others.

Perhaps that is coming. There seems to be a lot more talk about self-care and taking time out and prioritizing rest than there used to be. Kate Northrup published a wonderful book earlier this year titled Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Busy Moms. In it, she says:

“The way we work in our culture is as though we’re in a perpetual harvest. But anyone who’s grown anything in the earth knows this is impossible. …When a seed is planted, it takes time, care, and resources before it sprouts and grows to its fullest expression. As humans, our creative process is no different, yet we’ve forgotten that we need time, care, and space to not only do our best work but also to show up as our best selves. When you continue to plant the same crop in a field over and over and over again without ever giving it a break, the crops suffer as the soil degrades; eventually there is no harvest. … When we ask ourselves to work and produce and create and birth with no fallow time, we burn out. We become ill.”

Northrup discusses research that refutes the pressure to be productive all the time, and shows that we are actually more productive when we take breaks. She also gives all sorts of tools and exercises we can use to honor our body’s natural cycles of energy, learn how to ask for (and receive!) help, and accomplish more with less effort.

The book is an extremely helpful resource, and has sparked a “Do Less” movement. I’ve noticed others encouraging this type of behavior on social media, like Karen Brody of Daring to Rest (she has a podcast, website, and book as well). I hope that will continue to grow until it becomes mainstream and we are all able to relax without guilt!

Regardless, I urge you to take care of yourself by doing less wherever you can. Say no to things that will drain or stress you. I love the saying “No is a complete sentence.” But I have yet to be able to just say no! I always feel like I have to give a reason—and that the reason has to be justifiable. I’m doing my best to get over that. “No, I’m sorry, that won’t be possible” or “That’s not going to work for me” are all we need to say.

The holidays are an excellent time to start practicing, as we tend to accumulate responsibilities and activities over the years that weigh us down. So this holiday season, and as you begin the new year, see where you can do less. If all the holiday traditions bring you joy, by all means dive in.

But if any of them feel like a burden, see if you can make them less stressful or let them go. Use the old Better, Barter, or Bag It method—can you make it better somehow, maybe by revising it so it’s not such a hassle? Or can you get someone else to do it? Or can you just bag it completely? (Lol, does anyone say “bag it” anymore? I feel like I might be dating myself with that terminology.)

Anyway, you get the idea. Don’t buy into the societal pressure that says we have to do it all, and do it perfectly. Ease up on yourself and give yourself the gift of doing less wherever you can. (Truly a gift that keeps on giving.)

The blog will be on holiday hiatus as I take my own advice and move a few things off of my “to do” list temporarily. I will talk to y’all in 2020! (Can you believe it will be a new decade??) I hope you have a wonderful, easy, fun, happy holiday season!

Less Worry, More Wonder

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

— Corrie ten Boom

A long time ago I had the thought: what would my life look like if I didn’t worry at all? How amazing would that be? I thought about how free I would feel, how easy, how peaceful. I wanted to write a blog post about it, to try to inspire myself and others to do our best to live that way, without worrying…and then of course, life got busy. It was like my head, which had peeked above the clouds for a second and glimpsed another way, sank back down into the murk of my usual stress level, and it just felt hypocritical to write about worrying less when I was actually worrying every day. So I tabled the idea and continued on.

Then one morning last week, I was feeling OK. Despite it being a busy few weeks, everything on the near horizon was under control. And yet, I realized, my mind was actively scanning the future for possible problems and I was beginning to feel stressed. I got PISSED. Here I was feeling fine, with no real reason to be anxious, and yet my mind was trying to find one??

As I considered this, I realized that I do it all the time. It occurred to me that some part of me must think it’s my job to worry constantly. It seems to be my default setting, even after all these years of trying to be more peaceful and positive-minded.

Here’s what happens: I’m always thinking ahead to make sure that I’m prepared for whatever is coming up. I make notes and write stuff on my calendar and figure out what I need to do when, etc. That is fine and actually necessary to make sure our lives run smoothly. And if I stopped there, it would just be a positive, helpful behavior.

But I don’t. Once I’ve made sure that everything in the immediate future is considered and planned for, instead of relaxing and focusing on the present, I keep going. I look further and further ahead to responsibilities down the road, and to potential conflicts and possible problems.

And then, when I think about all of that on top of what is currently going on, I feel overwhelmed and anxious—especially since most of what I’m worrying over is either something I can’t do anything about right now or something that might not even happen. I get either extremely jittery or super tired—but either way I want to run away! Which is not exactly helpful or conducive to managing my current responsibilities, and it feels awful.

So after I got some clarity on this pattern the other morning, I sat down to think about why it might be so. Why would I feel like my job is to constantly think ahead and worry about the future? And why does it feel like if I don’t do this, something terrible will happen? Like I’m shirking my duty?

I thought about my son, who just started high school, and how we’re teaching him to plan ahead so that he gets all his schoolwork done on time. It’s not something that comes naturally to him, and I remembered that it didn’t come naturally to me either when I was his age. In fact, I remembered, I would actually get in trouble for not planning ahead or not thinking about the consequences of my actions, and would often get punished. Boom! Lightbulb moment! When I was younger, if I didn’t think ahead, something terrible WOULD happen! I would get punished! I got the message that I had to always be thinking ahead—and so like any good and obedient girl, that is what I do. Wow.

Once I realized that, I realized I had the power to start retraining myself, and that “less worry, more wonder” might actually be possible for me. I first saw that phrase about five years ago on life coach Carla Robertson’s website and it really appealed to me.  It has been part of my mission on this “joy detective” journey—to feel more open to wonder, and less constrained by worry. Now I think I might have made a breakthrough in how to do that.

Of course I still need to plan ahead, and will always do that—you can’t be a successful adult without that ability. But the key is in stopping myself from going further. Once I am sure that I have thought through what’s important for now, I can rest. It is no longer my job to constantly scan the horizon for potential problems. There is a LOT of trust involved in this, and it’s something I’m going to have to practice over and over. But so far here is what I do:

 I realize I’m worrying about something unnecessarily.  (That’s actually a big first step, to become aware of what I’m doing.) Then I tell my mind that it’s not my job to think about that right now, and that in fact, worrying about the future is harmful to me in the present.

I make a conscious decision to let the worry go, and trust that it will be OK. I’ve even got a mantra to repeat: “I don’t know how it’s going to work out, but I trust that it will all work out for the best.” Some people recommend writing down whatever you are worrying about, putting it in a special box or jar, and giving it over to God or the Universe or whatever higher power you believe in. I’ve done this before with big issues that I had no control over, and it really does help.

Anxiety and fear are so draining. If I can relax about the future, and trust that everything will in fact work out (without my needing to obsess over it constantly), it will free up so much energy! And it will give me an expansive feeling of peace and ease, which is much more conducive to everyday happiness.

So that’s my goal: to go through this process whenever I find myself worrying, and return my thoughts to the present. My hope is that the process will get easier over time, and I will in fact have less worry, which will make room for more wonder. I’ll let you know how it goes! And if you have any tips for worrying less, I’d love to hear them!

Making Bad Art Really IS Good for You!

I recently read an article that made me extremely happy. It discussed a study that found that making art can reduce stress levels, whether or not you have any experience.  (You can read the full article here.) A group of 39 people of varying ages, races, genders, and experience making art spent 45 minutes either doing collages, modelling with clay, or drawing with markers. Of the people in the study, 75% of them had lower cortisol levels after the session (cortisol is a biological indicator of stress).

And get this—the levels didn’t differ based on prior experience with art-making! Isn’t that great news? It’s just as I said in my old post, “Making Bad Art Is Good for You”—and now there’s scientific proof that’s true! It really takes the pressure off, doesn’t it?

So, here’s your prescription from Dr. Ashley, lol: Create something! Today, or this week, I invite you to set aside some time to play. Get creative in whatever way makes you happiest, whether that’s doodling, coloring, drawing, painting, collage, sewing, knitting, crocheting, cooking, gardening, decorating your home, photography, clay modeling, making music, arranging shells on the beach—whatever feels the most fun. Let yourself just enjoy the process without judging the result (easier said than done, I know, but try it!

Is there something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t, because you “don’t know how”? There are tons of instructional videos out there. Or you could even—gasp—just play around without any instructions at all! (This makes my inner perfectionist freak out, so I know it’s a good idea!) Go for it! You have nothing to lose and a happier, healthier self to gain!

You can also take classes, which I enjoy because then you’re interacting with other creative souls as well as learning something new. If that appeals to you, you may want to check out the women’s art camp I’ve talked about before (here, here, and here). I’m actually teaching there this year (on creating a restorative daily ritual) and I’m already counting the days! I can’t wait to immerse myself in that magical experience again, connecting with fascinating women and creating our hearts out just for the fun of it! This year’s camp is Wednesday, November 6 through Sunday, November 10 in Hunt, Texas. You can learn more at www.luckystarartcamp.com.

Meanwhile, go play! It’s good for you!

6 Short & Sweet Ideas for a Spring Routine Refresh

I wanted to share with you this article I recently wrote for Thrive Global about some easy ways to take care of yourself. Spring is a perfect time to refresh our daily routine and make sure it’s serving us, rather than running us ragged!

Starting your day mindfully improves the rest of the day. Morning rituals are wonderfully beneficial, but when you’re busy, the thought of trying to squeeze something else into your day can be overwhelming. The good news is that your ritual doesn’t have to be complex or time-consuming to be effective. Here are some short and sweet practices that you can easily manage.

1.      Ease into the day.

Instead of jumping out of bed, take a moment to center yourself. After you wake up, lie still and take three deep breaths. Place one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart. Breathe in slowly through your nose until you reach maximum capacity, feeling your belly rise. Then slowly release the breath through your mouth, feeling your belly fall. Imagine that you are inhaling peace and exhaling any tension you may have. Repeat two more times. Then stretch your arms and legs, lengthening your body as much as you can. As you get out of bed, pause to feel your feet on the floor. Then get up and on with your day, refreshed and ready!

2.      Replace phone time with something positive.

Instead of checking your phone first thing, which can negatively affect your focus and your mood, do something uplifting for five minutes. Write in a journal, sit in silence, read a few pages of an inspiring book—whatever makes you feel happier.

3.      Shower mindfully.

This practice doesn’t take any extra time at all, so it’s especially great for those super-busy days. Feel the water hitting your head and streaming downward. Imagine that it is washing all negative energy out of you and down the drain. Then imagine the fresh water replenishing you with positive energy for the day.

4.      Get outside.

Sip your morning coffee or tea outdoors for an instant reset, courtesy of nature. Getting sunlight first thing makes you more alert and spurs production of the mood-booster serotonin; it also helps regulate your sleep cycles. Bonus points if you can put your bare feet on the earth for some quick grounding.

5.      Set an intention/visualize/schedule some self-care.

Take a few minutes to sit quietly and think about the day ahead. Check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. What does your day hold? Is there something important you want to accomplish? Set the intention that you will handle it easily. Visualize it going well. Are you facing a busy day? Set the intention to navigate it with serenity and grace. Visualize a smooth path ahead of you. Feel free to ask for help from whatever higher power you believe in, or simply your own inner self.

You can also use this time to brainstorm ways make your day easier or to treat yourself (having a reward to look forward to can brighten up even the toughest days). For example, is there something you can take off your list or ask someone else to do? Is there a break in the day where you can relax and enjoy a cup of tea or a quiet moment outside? Ask yourself what would make you happy, and see if you can make it happen.

6.      Focus on gratitude.

While you’re getting ready, eating breakfast, or commuting to work, think about what you’re thankful for. Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been shown to have enormous benefits: it enhances physical health, psychological health, mental strength, and self-esteem. Paying attention to what’s good in your life is a wonderful way to start each day with a positive mindset. And the more you appreciate what’s around you, the more you notice things to appreciate.

Beginning your day with one of these simple morning rituals will help center and calm you, empowering you to be your best self. You can also practice them at other times—during lunchtime, for an afternoon break, or in the evening to transition between work and home.

And you can always come back to your breathing to for a mini-break. Close your eyes if possible and just focus on feeling the breath as it enters and exits your nose. Breathe as deeply and slowly as possible. If you’re feeling anxious, try kaki pranayama, or “bird’s beak,” breath: inhale through your nose. Then purse your lips into an O, as if you were drinking from a straw, and exhale slowly. This helps bring about the relaxation response. Repeat until you feel calmer.

A morning ritual refreshes and restores you every day. Even tiny actions can have an enormous positive impact. Try one of the practices above for a week and see how much better you feel!

Join Our Creative Community!

I am so excited to announce the launch of the Creation Co-op: an online creative community for women. Over the past year I’ve been part of a wonderful group of women who have been dreaming and scheming together, and now we’re ready to share our vision with you!

The Creation Co-op is a community of women who are committed to reclaiming our full creative power. We believe that creation is our birthright, and that every act of creativity supports us in becoming exactly who we were created to be. As we create, we remember who we are and how to trust ourselves.

Important note: this is not about being an “artist.” Anyone can participate, regardless of what you consider to be your “skill level.” This is about enjoying the creative process, whatever that means for you. It could be “art” but it could also be cooking, gardening, homecare—whatever brings you joy and helps you feel more connected to your authentic self.

We create together “for the Love of Creation”—meaning that we focus on the delight of our creative experiences, not just on the end result. This is something that is so important, but as I’ve discussed here before, often very difficult to do. I’m thrilled to be part of a group that will help me keep remembering how to find joy in the process and stop judging the product.

Our contributors share their authentic experiences with creation through artistic self-expression as well as the practice of consciously creating a meaningful life through healing and self-care. We view life as a beautiful, heartbreaking, non-linear journey of healing that is meant to be traveled in the company of like-minded sisters.

In the first session, “Befriending Ourselves,” we’ve each created videos about our own struggles to do this and the practices/ideas/tools we’ve found that help. Session 1 will be released on May 20. If you register before then, you’ll receive 25% off! Here are all the details.

Purchasing a session enables you to become a member of our Creation Co-op Private Community on Facebook. This is where the magic happens: each week we will share our creations, connect, and have fun together (and we plan to do in-person gatherings in the future!). Information about joining our private community is included in the full PDF package that you will receive on the session’s release date.

If you’re interested in joining this adventure, I’ve got a coupon code for a free pass to Session 1! Just email me and let me know that you want in!

Follow the Creation Co-op on Instagram and Facebook for details, fun videos (including bloopers!), and more opportunities to win! Please feel free to share this info with anyone you think might benefit from it—the more the merrier!

Will You Be Your Valentine?

It’s Valentine’s Day, which encourages us to show our love for our romantic partner. Where is the holiday that encourages us to show our love for ourselves?

Truly, this is so important that we should be reminded every day, not just one day a year. We can’t fully love others if we don’t fully love ourselves. And yet we often treat ourselves terribly. Our needs are always last on the list. “Oh, I don’t have time to _______, I have to work/take care of my children/clean the house/go to the store/cook dinner/do laundry, etc. etc.”

However, as many of us have found out, if we focus solely on taking care of others and neglect ourselves for too long, it will eventually have a negative impact. We get sick, or are constantly tired or irritable (or are sick, tired, AND irritable). Often when this happens, our instinct is to push through, because we are needed. We’re not making it up—we do have tons of obligations and people who depend on us—bosses, coworkers, children, spouses, parents, friends. But our first obligation should be to ourselves. I know it sounds radical. But it’s true.

It’s important to note that we’re worthy of love, just as we are. We don’t have to be constantly productive to prove our worth. We are each born a magnificent soul, deserving of unconditional love. When we give ourselves that love—not demanding anything in return, not trying to “be better,” just appreciating ourselves as is—it makes a huge difference in our lives.

I’ll admit, showing myself unconditional love is something I struggle with daily. I’m a perfectionist and highly self-critical, and as I’ve discussed before, I have the urge to always be doing something to “earn my keep.” But running around like a hamster on a wheel all the time doesn’t feel good. No matter how hard I work, I never cross everything off the list (gah, how I hate that fact!). I never reach that mark of “enough.”

I always feel like I come up short when I tie my value to what I’m accomplishing. If I can wrap my head around the idea that I’m inherently worthy—that I was born enough, and don’t have anything to prove—that feels SO much better. I feel open rather than constricted. Relaxed instead of clenched. Happy instead of apprehensive.

There’s a common saying: When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. The converse is absolutely true: when I’m happy, I can spread that happiness. I’m more likely to be kind and patient with those I love—and even with strangers. So when you tend to your own happiness, you’re really doing others a service.

What if we all devoted time every day just to showing ourselves some love? Paying attention to our needs and our wants; taking a moment to sit and listen to our inner voice, which often gets drowned out in the cacophony of modern life. I’m not talking about hours each day—just as much time as you can comfortably fit into your schedule. Maybe five minutes, sitting outside while you watch the clouds float by, or fifteen minutes of meditation or yoga or reading—whatever lights you up and makes you feel whole.

Today, take a moment to show yourself some love. Do something you enjoy, or give yourself a treat that that makes you feel amazing. Book that massage! Steal away and read that book! Savor the chocolate! Do it just because—because you are a miraculous, incredible, gorgeous soul who deserves all the love in the world. XXXOOO! 

Make 2019 the Best Year Yet

I can’t believe it’s already December! The holiday merry-go-round is spinning in full force here, so I’m going to take a break from posting for the rest of the month. But first, I want to share with you an article I recently wrote for Hers Magazine titled “Do’s and Don’ts to Make 2019 Incredible.” If you can, try some of these ideas this month. Taking a few moments for ourselves each day can really help keep us calm and centered amidst all the hustle and bustle

I hope you have a happy, magical holiday filled with love and light. See you next year!

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The morning sets the tone for the rest of the day, and each morning is an opportunity for a fresh start. It’s like pressing the reset button—and you get that chance every twenty-four hours.

A morning ritual enables you to make the most of every day. Here are some “do’s and don’ts” that will help you master your mornings and steer your life with purpose toward a clear vision of what you want.

Don’t put yourself last. This is especially important for women. We tend to get up and immediately start handling external obligations, whether it’s for family or work. If we take a moment to care for ourselves first, we fill our own well and have more to give.

A morning ritual is one of the highest forms of self-care. We’re literally putting ourselves first. When we do this each morning, it helps train us to put ourselves first throughout our life. This is not selfish, it’s necessary. If we keep putting others’ needs ahead of our own, never taking the time to replenish our reserves, we will eventually run out. A morning ritual refuels us every day, keeping our life running smoothly.

“Having a morning ritual, I believe, is the key to stepping up to the starting line of a new adventure. Every day is full of possibility. [Mine] gives me the ability to meet the day’s activities in the best possible way.”—Char Cooper, business owner and marathon runner

Don’t use an alarm clock. Try training yourself to wake up without one; this allows your body’s circadian rhythm to wake you up when you’re naturally ready so you feel alert instead of groggy (as can happen when your alarm goes off during deep sleep). In order for this to be possible, you need to get enough sleep; make sure you go to bed early enough the night before.

If you want to keep using an alarm, don’t hit the snooze button—it only makes you sluggish. And once you’re awake, don’t get up immediately. First, take a few deep, slow breaths; doing this will calm and center you.

Don’t check social media or email first thing. Feed your mind with positive input and determine your priorities for the day first, instead of distracting yourself or getting waylaid by others’ needs.

“If I wake up and look at the phone right away, my whole day is wrecked. I have to meditate first. Meditation needs to happen before anything else; that’s my time.”—Jeanne Geier Lewis, start-up entrepreneur and co-founder of Capsure and Creativebug

Don't multitask.

It’s tempting on busy mornings to juggle three things at once, but resist. It might feel like you're getting more done, but studies show that we’re less efficient when we multitask, and it will scatter your energy. Strengthen your ability to focus by putting your full attention on each activity in turn. This also makes your morning feel much more peaceful, and you can carry that feeling of peace with you throughout your day.

Do go outside.

Getting sunlight first thing makes you more alert and spurs production of the mood-booster serotonin; it also helps regulate your sleep cycles. Take your morning coffee or tea out with you and enjoy.

Do what makes you happy and fills you up.

Ask yourself, “What do I need today?” Not “What do I have to do” or “What do others want me to do?” but “What do I need to do for me?” Whatever works for you is right for you.

Do try something creative.

Starting the day by “playing” may seem like slacking off, but it can actually boost your productivity. Ideas include meditative drawing, painting, knitting, writing, and singing. Or, have a short dance party—it’s more fun than exercising, easy to fit into a busy morning, and will rev up your energy while putting you in a good mood.

Do take the time to listen to your inner voice.

“Overall, I think the most vital thing is taking quiet time for yourself. That’s when you hear your own voice and find your own truth.”—Tonya Lewis Lee, women’s wellness advocate, entrepreneur, filmmaker, and author

Women often have difficulty achieving the lives of our dreams. In fact, we often have difficulty even knowing what our dreams are. Centering ourselves with a morning ritual helps us access that inner knowing. By connecting to our core self, the one who is often drowned out by the world, we are able to know ourselves better and see clearly what it is that we want, then map out how to achieve it. And when you create the space for inspiration to come to you, you can realize solutions to problems and receive insights that will make life easier.

You don’t need to meditate for an hour—simply sitting in silence for a few minutes can be transformational. Journaling is also an excellent way to get in touch with yourself. If you find it difficult to be still, try a moving meditation with walking, Qi Gong, or yoga.

Creating a morning ritual is about taking charge of your day from the very beginning, gently, with purpose. When you start the day on your own terms, you are better prepared to live your life that way. You are mindful and calm. You can see more clearly the path that you genuinely desire to take—the path that leads to your happiest, most fulfilled life.